Dear Staff,

As you probably know, I've been SD1's adored mascot for many years. Wherever I go, kids and parents alike absolutely love me. My charming personality and hilarious hijinks draw admirers from near and far.

And I'm not just a pretty face. I regularly mop the floor with other local mascots in basketball, baseball, ice hockey, broomball - you name it. I'm a true multi-sport star.

You'd think with all of my accolades and my ever-expanding fanbase that I'd be celebrated around here like the rock star that I am. Yeah, I've had a few trading card deals and been on zipper pulls and golf club covers. But where is my statue?

Every time I've discussed erecting a Splash McClean statue with SD1 leadership, it's the same song and dance about the budget. Well I'm pleased to announce that, after years of back-and-forth that at times rivaled our Clean H2O40 negotiations with the EPA, we have come to a successful compromise.

I'm finally getting my statue! It's only about 7 inches tall, but it looks quite handsome, if I must say so myself. And now it's time to share this wonderful treasure with my most loyal fans - the SD1 staff. 

Anyone who wants their very own Splash McClean bobblestatue can pick yours up in Main Office Room 2A on Thursday, October 6, from 1-4:30 p.m. If you aren't available to pick yours up during that time, just email my spokesman Chris Cole and he'll be sure you get one.

Thanks, and have a Splashtastic Day!

Splash McClean